Marriage Bites #2: What do you fear the most in marriage?

To be straight-up blunt and honest, my answer is in-laws. Needs no elaboration cos I’m sure everyone can understand even if you’re not getting married anytime soon. H’s family are really nice people, well-mannered and comes from a very respectful background. I consider myself lucky to be able to marry into such a family.

But this exact concept of “marrying into a family” already sounds scary. You choose to marry a guy, but you are also going to marry his family. It comes in a package. Just like how we don’t get to choose our parents or family members, we only get to choose our life partners, but not their family members.

You choose to spend the rest of your life with your chosen partner, but a group of people also becomes your own family members. His mother becomes your mother, his father becomes your father. Sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, relatives.

We all have a set of responsibilities towards our family members. To our parents and siblings, especially. All of a sudden, these responsibilities are shared. His responsibilities become your responsibilities, and vice versa. We used to only have to please our own family members, but after marriage, we also have to please our partners as well as their family members. Sounds overwhelming?

fear-2

Another major fear I have about marriage is the fact that my future husband will be accountable for my actions, that I must have my husband’s approval for everything I do and that I can no longer just do whatever I want to do and go wherever I want to go.

Don’t get me wrong, H has never really been a very controlling partner. He is protective, a fierce lover and always has my best interest and welfare at heart. He has also been very supportive in many things that I do, especially my henna business, and his support and encouragement have played a part in most of my life accomplishments.

And as much as I am confident that he will be easy on me in future after marriage, I can’t help but feel like a part of my freedom is going to be lost after marriage and that it will never feel the same again. I hope I will be wrong.

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