Marriage Bites #3: What would you like to achieve before marriage?

I haven’t had the time to write a proper entry since I went for a short getaway to KL over the Labour Day long weekend, and then right when I got back, I came down with a fever, sore throat, cough and flu, which I am still nursing right now. Things are getting busy for planning The Ladies Souq II as well. Since H is away for his first grad trip (there are 2), I have some time to finally get on with Marriage Bites #3!

As cliché as it sounds, I want to be a better muslimah before marriage. Only you yourself know where you stand in terms of level of piety. Our iman goes up and down from time to time. Sometimes we feel rajin to do ibadah, and sometimes we feel lazy.

Marriage, to me, is like a second level of adulthood. When we start working and officially become an adult, we start to become independent and have more responsibilities. But certain things, we could still rely on our parents, like coming home to home-cooked food by mum, for example.

Stepping into marriage life is like an upgrade of that level of adulthood. Especially for girls, your parents will no longer be responsible for providing food and shelter for you. Your husbands are. And you will also have the added responsibilities of taking care of your husband’s and children’s basic necessities. You no longer have to be independent, but you also have to provide sustenance to your own family.

This also means that your parents will no longer be there to keep reminding you to solat on time, advising you to do more ibadah like fasting and reading the quran and encouraging you to visit mosques more frequently. You need to be able to continue doing them on your own, and more.

A good Islamic foundation is important to build a family. If your level of piety and taqwa is not there, then what about your future children? Are you sure they will turn out just as pious as you? Will they be equipped with enough knowledge of Islam to start their own family in future? Will they know how to uruskan your jenazah when you die? Will they make dua for you and ask Allah to forgive you when you are gone? Or will they point their fingers at you and blame you for not teaching them enough about Islam and say “my parents did not teach me”? And this could go on for generations.

I could go on and on, but essentially, being a better muslimah would help everyone to perform better in their roles as a wife, daughter, sister, mother, daughter-in-law and so on.

Other than wanting to be a better muslimah, I also hope to learn how to cook better, and be more consistent at keeping myself fit and healthy. Our body is not ours, it is an amanah from Allah to perform the duties we are tasked to do. Keeping our bodies fit is part of our resposibility to take care of what Allah has blessed us with. Because eventually, it will all go back to Him. A woman’s body is created to make babies, carry them for 9 months, give birth to them and to feed them. Allah has entrusted us with these incredible roles. What better way to show gratitude than to take care of our health and fitness to the best of our abilities?

I don’t know what photo to put, so here are some of the good food I had in KL last week. Alhamdulillah.


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