So I have been thinking of this for a while now. Some of my girlfriends have also been asking me if I am going to have bridesmaids or not. Some just assume that I will be having bridesmaids, and ask me how many. Which leads me to the question: Do I really need bridesmaids?
This bridesmaids trend among Malay brides started quite recently, and is obviously inspired by western traditions. I don’t recall Malay brides having bridesmaids about 5 years ago and before that. So far, none of my maternal cousins who got married had any bridesmaids as far as I can remember. For their weddings, the people who helped in the preparations and to run the event were the cousins, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and other relatives. And I think it went pretty well. As extended family members, they viewed themselves as hosts, rather than guests, offering their help in whatever way they can, without people asking. The gotong-royong spirit was much stronger.
These days, it seems like bridesmaids are fulfilling these roles. Carry the gift trays before and after the nikah, coordinating with vendors and whatnots. The person who picks up and adjusts the bride’s train as she walks or sits and gives the bride a glass of water to drink is also bridesmaid instead of the Mak Andam these days. For these bridesmaids, good on them for doing a great job at making sure that the wedding goes smoothly.
And then there are also other bridesmaids who just tangkap jambu, take selfies 24/7 and go for smoke breaks most of the time instead of ensuring that all wedding and bride’s needs are fulfilled. Sometimes, when bride needs their favour to do something, they are nowhere to be seen, which totally defeats the purpose of having bridesmaids in the first place.
I am a logical person most of the time (I think), and I prefer doing things for practical reasons, rather than just because it will be ‘nice to do or to have’. I don’t have that luxury. And personally, I have never been a bridesmaid myself before. Almost every decision I made about my upcoming wedding is as logical and practical as possible. But of course, not everything can go my way, and there will be in fact a few illogical things at my wedding, which are beyond my control. Afterall, it is not entirely my event since I will just be sitting at the pelamin (trying) to look pretty while other people run the event for me. So, like almost everything else, if I were to have bridesmaids, it would have to be justifiable.
This is where my readers come in. Under what circumstances are bridesmaids necessary? What kind of roles exactly do they play? Please input your opinions and comments or share your experiences. I am still open to choices. Help me out? 😀