It’s been awhile since I wrote a Marriage Bites issue. Life has been busy and there are a lot of things going on. I still have a few things to update here with regards to the wedding preps, but will find the time to do it soon. For now, here is Marriage Bites #5!
There are of course, lots of important factors for a successful marriage. Different things are important to different people. To me, some of the important factors include communication, honesty, integrity, love, compatibility, loyalty and dedication. But if I were to pick one which I think is super important, it would be friendship. I would never marry someone who I cannot be best friends with.
For me, I feel that if you can really be best friends with your partner, all the other important factors will automatically come into place as well. Best friends will be able to communicate well with each other, will be honest to each other, love each other and are loyal and dedicated to their friendship.
I’m not saying that it’s wrong to have another person as your best friend. But if you have another best friend who you are more comfortable with and can talk to or confide in about a lot more things than your husband can, then I feel like that would not be very healthy for the marriage. Maybe different husbands or different people may feel differently, but this definitely will not work for me.
Everything about how good a “best friend” your husband can be, is very subjective since there is no standard yardstick to measure friendship. For me, he must be my confidante, someone I will always turn to first for advice on anything and everything, someone I can rant to about everything, my pillar of strength and support, my biggest critique, someone who will tell me what I need to hear even if it will hurt me, someone who will give me words of comfort, someone who I can share secrets with, someone who we can mutually be blunt with like asking each other to lose weight, someone I can rely on for help, someone who can be my fashion advisor and help me choose what outfit to wear or what lipstick to put on for the day, someone who can tell me which foundation shade suits me best and someone who will scold me for buying ridiculous and uncomfortable heels, yet still holding my hand to support me while I walk in them.
Basically, whatever my best friend can be or do, he must be able to be it and do it just as good, if not better. In fact, I rather he is my best friend first, and a husband second. It is easy for husbands and wives to want the best for each other. But only best friends will know exactly which buttons to push to encourage each other to be the best versions of themselves.
Just like the quote in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, “Pyaar dosti hai. Love is friendship.”
Love is friendship … if she can’t be my best friend, then I cannot fall in love with her … because love cannot happen without friendship … simple, love is friendship