I realised I have not been blogging about my feelings and emotions enough. In fact, once all the crazy wedding planning is finally over, one of the things that I would love to look back to, is how I felt at each point of time.
I was actually inspired to write this entry because I was doing a bit of spring cleaning last Sunday. I found a few boxes and bags containing sentimental stuff of H and me, like our movie tickets, entrance tickets to many different shows/museums/galleries/places of interests, birthday cards, anniversary cards, letters to each other while we were going through NS and long distance relationship etc. The best part about spring cleaning is always finding this kind of stuff and going through them. I spent awhile re-reading all the old cards and letters H wrote to me and I couldn’t help but bawl my eyes out. It reminded me of all the difficult stages of life we went through together and to think we actually pulled through and came out stronger than before, till we’re almost getting married, it’s just so amazing. It made me realise how blessed we were, to have almost all our prayers answered till today.
A few weeks ago, I had a henna assignment in Boon Lay. Walking through Jurong Point brought back so many memories too. About 5-6 years ago, I used to travel all the way to Jurong Point after school just to meet H during his weekly Wednesday “nights out” when he was training at Pasir Laba camp. We would either watch a movie, or just go for dinner and lepak at starbucks for a few hours until it’s time for him to go back to camp to book in again.
Now that we have come this far, I can’t help but reflect back at all the things we went through together. For me, the most memorable moments of our courtship days were not really the sweet moments or the good days, but it was the toughest times. It was the NS days in 2010-2011, the 5 months when I was away on exchange in Canada in 2013, and the 6 months when H was away on exchange in Europe in 2015. Those were the days when circumstances could have broken us apart. When we were not even sure of ourselves, despite giving each other assurances. When we truly struggled to keep the relationship alive. The journeys were the toughest on those days, and we felt like giving up a few times, especially through the NS phase. But because of the hurdles, our efforts and commitment to keep the flame burning tripled. Despite the insecurities, the uncertainties, the distance and time difference during the almost one year of combined LDR (this one no joke), we were devoted to make sure it works out. And it is exactly because of all the effort we put in that makes it the most memorable times of our relationship. It is not something that we wish to experience all over again, but I think if we didn’t go through all that, we might not be getting married. Those phases were like the tests of love. If there were no tests for my boyfriend and I to pass, how would I know we would be able to pass so many other tests in life together? So we are quite thankful that He made us go through all this before finally uniting us for good in 67 days insyaAllah.