I’m kind of having a dilemma over who to invite to my wedding. My invitation card has been designed and printed since last month, and now that we are less than 2 months away, I have started giving out invites to my friends, and my parents have also started distributing their share of invites.
I have already wrote down my guest list a few months back, but now that it’s time to seriously give out the cards, I’m starting to reconsider inviting certain people.
Close friends will be invited of course. But what about those who are not close, but I attended their wedding? It would be nice to reciprocate the gesture and invite them back to my wedding, but their wedding was 2 years ago, and we barely keep in contact and haven’t even spoken or text a word to each other since?
And then there are also some acquaintances who I don’t even keep in contact at all, but I keep bumping into them at the weddings of all our mutual friends for the past 2 years or so, and we always tegur, but it’s just a hi-bye kind of friendship?
What about when there are 4 girls in a clique and you want to invite only 2 or 3 of them because you only keep in contact with those few but not all? Should I really invite all of them?
And then there are also friends who you just don’t meet up or text much anymore, but you often comment and interact on each others’ social media actively.
I have a total of only 250 cards and I saved 60 for my friends, while my parents get the rest. To be honest, it feels pretty tight especially since my extended family is considered pretty huge. But because I don’t have that many friends to begin with, my parents have to filter out more friends and relatives than me.
In Malay culture, hundreds and thousands of people are usually invited to a wedding because it is a norm to invite the whole “kampong” as one community, or one big family. Inviting certain people means that you are including them in your community. So when certain people are not invited, it sends a message that they are “not a part of us”, and therefore it could be deemed “insulting” and “offensive”. Of course, this mindset is more dominant in our parents’ generation, but some youngsters in our generation could get a little offended too when they are not invited to the wedding of their secondary school friend who they used to be BFFs with, but they haven’t kept in contact for a few years.
Sigh. Decisions, decisions.