Marriage Bites #8: Why did you choose to marry your partner?

It’s December, the last month of 2016! 2017 is just around the corner and before we know it, I am someone’s wife. Speaking of that someone, this month’s #MarriageBites issue is about him. A little warning: it’s going to be mushy.

Way before I started dating, I admit that my choice of men have always been influenced by Bollywood.

Yes, I watch A LOT of bollywood movies since I was very little. I just looooooove those hopelessly romantic movies, where the hero would climb mountains, cross continents and swim oceans just to be with the love of his life. I love the cheesy love poems, the pick up lines, the romantic songs and lyrics (OMG THE SONGS!), the dance moves, the scenic mountains, lakes, jungles and fields. My life basically revolved around bollywood (now dah tone down sikit. sikit je, tapi still kemarok). I especially LOVEEE bollywood movies that have some wedding elements in them, because I have fallen in love with Indian wedding culture from all those bollywood movies. Movies with weddings ALWAYS have the best hindi songs, the best costumes, the best dance moves, and they basically just make the movie SO MUCH BETTER! It got to the point where I can almost understand hindi lines without reading subtitles, and I can recognise when they recycle certain costumes, shooting sets and dance moves for different movies. I even took a Hindi module in uni and scored pretty well in it hehe. No points for guessing that this is also partly how I fell in love with henna. Ok ni dah terlalu carried away ni..

Being young and naive back then, I naturally wanted a man in my life who is just like bollywood heroes, not realising that such standards are not realistic. I had a long list of criteria. And then I met H.

Not sure if I mentioned this before, but H and I were classmates in JC. We were also in the same secondary school, but we did not know each other then. He only tried to pursue me towards the end of first year of JC and has almost totally opposite character as me. I am quiet and reserved, while he is outspoken and sort of a social butterfly. He looks at the bigger picture, while I delve into details. He prefers tea, while I love coffee. He is ambitious and driven, while I am not so daring to have big dreams. He is not afraid to fight for what’s right, but I’d rather keep quiet cos I prefer to maintain peace. But opposites attract right?

I kind of tried to play hard-to-get a little bit, but eventually it didn’t take very long for me to respond to his advances. Like almost all relationships, the first few months were like the honeymoon period, where everything is sweet, romantic and perfect. And because the first year went so well, we were motivated to continue to make the relationship work when H enlisted for NS after A levels. If you have been reading my blog, you know the rest of the story.

I guess what made me sure that he’s the one for me is the fact that he is capable of loving so fiercely and fearlessly, and he is always willing to do everything it takes to get what he wants, once he puts his mind into it. This applies to almost every aspect of his life, not just our relationship. As a woman, I couldn’t be more flattered that a man loves and accepts me truly for who I am, yet mature enough to call me out when I am at fault and correct me when I am wrong.

H is someone whom I always call, an “extremist”. Not in a terrorist kind of way. When he loves, he loves with all his heart, to the point of obsession. Vice versa for hate. There is no grey area for him. As someone who doesn’t give in easily, he can be very selfless when it comes to the people he loves. Always making sacrifices and going the extra mile just to make me happy. As much as he has such a strong character, he is also not afraid to let his guard down, show his soft side and share his weaknesses with me. I love that we always seek advice and approval from each other before making any decisions, simply because we can’t live without each others’ assurances. I definitely want someone who is strong in principles as my husband. But most importantly, we are very compatible as friends, before deciding that we are compatible as spouses to complete our deens with.

So back to my reference to my criteria for a husband based on bollywood movies, H may not be able to sing romantic songs to me, or declare his love to me in cheesy poems and pick up lines, or dance with me in the mountains, or take me on a helicopter ride over scenic lakes and valleys. But when it comes to loving me, he has one of the biggest hearts. In other aspects, he is also responsible, mature, caring, respectful and religious. We are both not perfect and may have our own individual strengths and weaknesses that complement each other, but he is someone whom I would be proud to have as a husband and the father of my child(ren).

And he may not have the sharp nose of Hrithik Roshan, or the sense of humour of Akshay Kumar, or the romantic lines of Aamir Khan, or the body of Salman Khan, or the dimples of Shahid Kapoor, or the macho-ness of John Abraham, or the height of Ranveer Singh, or the sexy deep voice of Arjun Rampal. But hey, he has the same birthday as Shah Rukh Khan. No link, but close enough? 😀

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