Wedding Bites: Who to invite???

I’m kind of having a dilemma over who to invite to my wedding. My invitation card has been designed and printed since last month, and now that we are less than 2 months away, I have started giving out invites to my friends, and my parents have also started distributing their share of invites.

I have already wrote down my guest list a few months back, but now that it’s time to seriously give out the cards, I’m starting to reconsider inviting certain people.

Close friends will be invited of course. But what about those who are not close, but I attended their wedding? It would be nice to reciprocate the gesture and invite them back to my wedding, but their wedding was 2 years ago, and we barely keep in contact and haven’t even spoken or text a word to each other since?

And then there are also some acquaintances who I don’t even keep in contact at all, but I keep bumping into them at the weddings of all our mutual friends for the past 2 years or so, and we always tegur, but it’s just a hi-bye kind of friendship?

What about when there are 4 girls in a clique and you want to invite only 2 or 3 of them because you only keep in contact with those few but not all? Should I really invite all of them?

And then there are also friends who you just don’t meet up or text much anymore, but you often comment and interact on each others’ social media actively.

I have a total of only 250 cards and I saved 60 for my friends, while my parents get the rest. To be honest, it feels pretty tight especially since my extended family is considered pretty huge. But because I don’t have that many friends to begin with, my parents have to filter out more friends and relatives than me.

In Malay culture, hundreds and thousands of people are usually invited to a wedding because it is a norm to invite the whole “kampong” as one community, or one big family. Inviting certain people means that you are including them in your community. So when certain people are not invited, it sends a message that they are “not a part of us”, and therefore it could be deemed “insulting” and “offensive”. Of course, this mindset is more dominant in our parents’ generation, but some youngsters in our generation could get a little offended too when they are not invited to the wedding of their secondary school friend who they used to be BFFs with, but they haven’t kept in contact for a few years.

Sigh. Decisions, decisions.

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6 thoughts on “Wedding Bites: Who to invite???”

  1. I did the revenge invites! my half-joking name for people who invited me for their weddings, and now I want to invite them back even though we haven’t spoken much 😀 😀

    I kept my guest list relatively trim, and later wished that I had included more people. sure, there’s the slight heartbreak when acquaintances don’t care enough to turn up, but it’s more bearable than the regret of not reaching out to certain friends whom I accidentally forgot about 😔

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  2. I personally think it’s okay not to reciprocate people’s invites – you’re not really obligated to do so especially if you guys have not spoken for a long time. Hehe. At the end of the day, It’s really up to you who you want invited to your wedding as it is your majlis (and your parents afterall!) – and invited or not, people will still be happy for you and doakan yang terbaik! I think our friends and acquaintances are more mature and understanding with regards to this, as compared to our parents’ generation tho 🙂

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    1. Ya man, I used to be more heartless in the past and think I’m not obligated to invite anyone at all, especially if I think their presence won’t make a difference in my wedding. But the dilemma seems to be growing bigger now. And the part about haven’t spoken to someone for a long time, im not sure how long is “long enough”. :/

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  3. The same dilemma I’m having especially when inviting colleagues but I’ve decided that the smiling-without-a-single-conversation colleagues will not be invited. My primary/secondary school friends, even though we see each other only on social media now but since we used to be close, I’ll be inviting. Hehe.

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