Decided to write this while I’m in the mrt because these few days, I simply have no time to do anything other than planning for the wedding and honeymoon. It’s been batshit crazy busy. Can’t believe I’m getting married next weekend!
Anyway, today marks our first engagement anniversary yay! 10 days ago, we also celebrated our 8 years of courtship. H actually surprised me with the most perfectly romantic picnic set up ever. It was all by @picneeds, of course. I couldn’t get over how lovely it was. To be honest, I kinda predicted it. I actually wanted to book picneeds last year for his birthday, but they were fully booked. I had been looking through all their pretty works but the one that was done for me, is one of the best!
Last weekend, we had a final meeting with our GroomsMats and BridesMinahs. We recce-ed three different locations that we’ll be covering for the wedding. H and I also managed to run errands the whole day last Sunday. Super productive, but super tiring. #wheregottimeforpantang
I was just telling H that my feelings about this wedding have been evolving over the weeks/months. First I was dreading it, then I got a bit more excited and tried to put more effort, then I was back to feeling like I can’t wait for it to be over, and right now I’m just more or less on tawakkal mode.
Most of the other little little stuffs are settled. Only left with finalizing the itinerary and sending them out to the vendors, and playlists! There’s also a little bit of honeymoon booking to do and packing. Then we’re ready to kahwin!
Quick check on the countdown shows that we are 22 days away at the point of writing.
Just a few weeks ago, I was thinking about how much more mentel I have become ever since the start of the wedding planning about one year ago. I thought I have become more excited for my wedding. But now, emotions have just gone wild and I’ve been feeling like I am feeling a million different emotions at the same time. It’s just hard to describe, but I’m sure some of you girls can relate. Happy, excited, relieved, exhausted, scared, worried, anxious, sad, can’t-wait-to-get-it-over-and-done-with, regret?, dreadful, in-denial, can-we-just-elope etc. Is this what wedding jitters feel like?
I used to be so chill last time, and I used to tell some of my friends “I think kalau besok aku nikah, I will be ok with it”. I am still pretty much chill now, but it’s slowly evaporating. That’s when I realised that all the waiting and all the time spent for the preparations are actually the cause of me feeling like I’m losing my chill right now. It’s like all those times spent in anticipation eats up so much energy. If I was given two months to prepare for the nikah, I would probably be more relaxed than the current circumstance. And this is only one year, I can’t imagine being engaged for 2-3 years. I would probably turn into a full-blown bridezilla.
As much as I’m trying to absorb and process all these emotions, it’s a bit sad to say but I don’t really like feeling like this. People have been telling me to enjoy the process. But honestly, I am not really enjoying it. A lot of brides also say that they always miss all the crazy wedding preparations and their wedding day. But what if I don’t really want to miss it? No judgement, but I would think that I am being superficial if I actually miss my wedding. I choose to look forward more to the marriage rather than the wedding, though that doesn’t mean I don’t want my wedding to be a memorable day.
(Okay bye, I’m actually starting to cry now and I’m sitting alone in my favourite cafe. These emotions are crazy omg)
This space is so dusty now. End of December and early January has been busier than expected. So much for focusing on getting all the me-time I can get in January. Let’s get to my second last #MarriageBites entry shall we!
This question reminds me of Gary Chapman, specifically The 5 Love Languages and his explanation about how humans all have a love tank which wants to be filled. Thinking back about that book I read and to our Pre-marriage course, I guess H and I are pretty lucky cos we discovered that we have the same love language: Quality Time. Continue reading “Marriage Bites #9: How would you make your marriage work and keep it alive?”