The other day H and I were talking about something related to marriage and kids. I have a 24-year-old brother and H has a 24-year-old sister. We were just casually mentioning how both our siblings are still single and do not have a proper career yet although both have finished school, so they are nowhere near settling down and stuff. And H mentioned how my parents are not too worried about my brother not getting married any time soon, but his mum is more worried for his sister because she’s had no luck finding a partner so far. Continue reading “Sons vs. Daughters”
So H has been working for almost over a year now and I think he is facing a little bit of quarter life crisis. I remember feeling this way when I first started working a few years ago.
Completed my education, got my degree, got a job, settled my loans, 5-year plan on track, got married, now what’s next? I think the mundane routine of going to work and coming home from work every day without anything concrete to look forward to, makes us feel a little bored and we start to wonder what is the purpose of life. Why do we go to work when we hate our jobs? Just for money? For what, other than to survive? To give back to parents? So mainstream. To give back to the community? So cliche. To travel? To start a family? To buy a half a million dollar HDB flat which will never truly be mine because technically we are just renting it for 99 years? What’s the whole purpose of getting up, shower, work, go home, eat, sleep, lepak, berak, do laundry, dry clothes, fold clothes, repeat?
It feels like there is this void in your life, like there’s not enough meaning or fulfilment. And then H said to me, “Shall we have a baby?” Erm……no. It’s not that I don’t want kids lah, but this is obviously not the solution to a quarter life crisis lol.
I was just telling H what I did when I was in his shoes a few years back. I guess it was kinda worse for me back then because while I had already started working, H still had 3 more years to go before graduation. So I had to wait for him. My life felt quite stagnant. Like someone pressed the pause button. So I searched for things to do to occupy my time. Having more financial freedom meant that I had more power to do the things I’ve always wanted to do, as well as things that are out of my comfort zone. So I started signing up for things and classes. I went for zumba. I tried yoga and piloxing. I even signed up for a swimming class and this is probably my proudest recent achievement ever. I never knew how to swim before this, but now I can do the breast stroke even though I’m still a horrible swimmer. I used to have one or two tutions to occupy my time back then too. I also used to attend a class at Darul Arqam religiously (pun intended LOL) for awhile. Basically, I pondered about what would I regret not trying in my life when it is too late. I went for this and that sharing sessions, met new people, made more friends. And life started to feel better and not so mundane after all. But there are still some things I kinda regret not doing, like signing up for that kickboxing class at the ladies gym. I haven’t been to those kind of courses/classes for awhile now because wedding preparations made me busier. But I guess it’s time to start again now, while guiding H on his own personal self-discovery process at the same time lol. Marriage life sometimes kept us occupied with ourselves too much. Like we focus a lot on serving our spouse and continue to shower attention to our parents and families consistently that we may forget about our own personal growth.
Anyway, we’ve been married for 7+ months now, and alhamdulillah we’ve been consistently doing all the things we want to do after the wedding, in terms of kickstarting our new life together. Treated both our families to a nice meal right after our honeymoon. Got a solid health insurance plan for both of us which comes with a rider. Settled reviewing our parents health insurance and make sure they are sufficiently covered so that we don’t have to worry so much since we are both the first child. Researched house designs, hunted for an ID and signed the contract! Now just waiting for our keys in December insyaAllah. Get our own place to stay while waiting for our BTO keys. Had our post-wedding photoshoot at our alma mater, TPJC. Plans to register for hajj are underway. Started to look up umrah packages too. Still thinking about adopting a cat or two. And last but not least, I have FINALLY started driving lessons! YESSAAA!!
It’s been a really pleasant 20+ days of ramadhan as husband and wife for the first time, alhamdulillah. Especially now that we are living on our own. Feels really good to be independent, and not rely on parents for food for buka and sahur every day, although it can get tiring because we have to really do everything on our own, including raya preparations. Continue reading “Wife’s Bites: The Thing About Being The First Child and The First Everything”
I feel very very ‘terasa’ on the day that MP made that infamous remark. Because that was the day of our HDB appointment to book our flat! So yes, Jo Teo, we got our “space” and insyaAllah we can breed! Continue reading “House Bites #2: We don’t need much space to make babies eh?”
Recently a few of our elders have been falling ill. Some are minor illnesses, some are quite major and terminal. It makes me worried and wonder if I have sufficient coverage in case I fall ill myself. Health is priceless. It is a rezeki that many of us take for granted. We often only realize how valuable it is when we lose it.
But at the same time we must usaha and be prepared. Investing in a health insurance is a small sum compared to what you need to fork out if it strikes even once in your life.
Recently H and I have been thinking and discussing about this a lot but we are not sure where to start. We are very wary because it is easy to fall into the trap of an insurance seller whose niat is just to make you buy the package and not really advice the best for you. It is not that easy to tell who is credible and who you can trust with this.
We have been asking around a bit, but we are cautious, probably because it is our first time also. We are trying to avoid going up to insurance salesmen at roadshows and their branches because some of them can be quite pushy and might do hard-selling. Some of our friends gave their contacts and recommendations, which we appreciate, but I guess we are still asking around and finding out more.
So if you girls would like to share how you got your insurance plans with your other halves or are planning to get, that would be really helpful. It would be great if we could also have a financial planner who can advice about investments and other forms of policies related to starting a family like planning for children’s future and education.