Quarter Life Crisis

So H has been working for almost over a year now and I think he is facing a little bit of quarter life crisis. I remember feeling this way when I first started working a few years ago.

Completed my education, got my degree, got a job, settled my loans, 5-year plan on track, got married, now what’s next? I think the mundane routine of going to work and coming home from work every day without anything concrete to look forward to, makes us feel a little bored and we start to wonder what is the purpose of life. Why do we go to work when we hate our jobs? Just for money? For what, other than to survive? To give back to parents? So mainstream. To give back to the community? So cliche. To travel? To start a family? To buy a half a million dollar HDB flat which will never truly be mine because technically we are just renting it for 99 years? What’s the whole purpose of getting up, shower, work, go home, eat, sleep, lepak, berak, do laundry, dry clothes, fold clothes, repeat?

It feels like there is this void in your life, like there’s not enough meaning or fulfilment. And then H said to me, “Shall we have a baby?” Erm……no. It’s not that I don’t want kids lah, but this is obviously not the solution to a quarter life crisis lol.

I was just telling H what I did when I was in his shoes a few years back. I guess it was kinda worse for me back then because while I had already started working, H still had 3 more years to go before graduation. So I had to wait for him. My life felt quite stagnant. Like someone pressed the pause button. So I searched for things to do to occupy my time. Having more financial freedom meant that I had more power to do the things I’ve always wanted to do, as well as things that are out of my comfort zone. So I started signing up for things and classes. I went for zumba. I tried yoga and piloxing. I even signed up for a swimming class and this is probably my proudest recent achievement ever. I never knew how to swim before this, but now I can do the breast stroke even though I’m still a horrible swimmer. I used to have one or two tutions to occupy my time back then too. I also used to attend a class at Darul Arqam religiously (pun intended LOL) for awhile. Basically, I pondered about what would I regret not trying in my life when it is too late. I went for this and that sharing sessions, met new people, made more friends. And life started to feel better and not so mundane after all. But there are still some things I kinda regret not doing, like signing up for that kickboxing class at the ladies gym. I haven’t been to those kind of courses/classes for awhile now because wedding preparations made me busier. But I guess it’s time to start again now, while guiding H on his own personal self-discovery process at the same time lol. Marriage life sometimes kept us occupied with ourselves too much. Like we focus a lot on serving our spouse and continue to shower attention to our parents and families consistently that we may forget about our own personal growth.

Anyway, we’ve been married for 7+ months now, and alhamdulillah we’ve been consistently doing all the things we want to do after the wedding, in terms of kickstarting our new life together. Treated both our families to a nice meal right after our honeymoon. Got a solid health insurance plan for both of us which comes with a rider. Settled reviewing our parents health insurance and make sure they are sufficiently covered so that we don’t have to worry so much since we are both the first child. Researched house designs, hunted for an ID and signed the contract! Now just waiting for our keys in December insyaAllah. Get our own place to stay while waiting for our BTO keys. Had our post-wedding photoshoot at our alma mater, TPJC.  Plans to register for hajj are underway. Started to look up umrah packages too. Still thinking about adopting a cat or two. And last but not least, I have FINALLY started driving lessons! YESSAAA!!

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Wife’s Bites: Why We Moved Out

I thought I would write about one of the most common questions we got during raya this year. I moved out of my in-laws’ in May, specifically over the labour day long weekend, after 3 months of marriage. We got a rental flat under HDB’s PPHS scheme. Apparently, this move was quite shocking to most of our closed ones.

Well, I can imagine the kind of things they were thinking. What’s with the sudden decision? Why? Where? Did something happen? It’s so sudden, so something must have happened? For how long? Were they chased out? Are they running as far away from their family as possible? Continue reading “Wife’s Bites: Why We Moved Out”

House Bites #4: The Chosen One

H and I actually met up with 5 different IDs. I didn’t mention the 5th one in the last #HouseBites post, but we were not very impressed with him so whatever. We shortlisted 3 main IDs, which were MA Concept, Urban Design and Bestform. I was really leaning towards MA and Bestform. But we eventually decided on Urban Design mainly because they offered the lowest quotation. Adding on to the fact that they are reputable and have a Case Trust award thingy, we figured they are trustworthy.

Even though I didn’t have the best or most fantastic first impression of T, he’s actually not that bad afterall. H likes that T is not pushy at all, so we decided to sign when we looked at the quotation for the second time, after the first revision. On that same day, T asked us to select materials for the carpentry works (kitchen cabinet, built-in wardrobe and vanity counter in the master bedroom) for the first draft of the 3D drawing. This is meant to be a rough selection only, and not the actual material selection because 3D drawing will definitely need a few revisions. So far, it looks not bad. There were a few mistakes or details left out. We just made an appointment with T again to make some changes to our design.

Since our flat is from SBF exercise, we were given an open-concept kitchen with no partition wall cos we didn’t have a choice. So one of the things we decided to do was a kitchen counter top or bar top thingy to separate the kitchen from the living/dining room. After looking at the first 3D drawing, somehow the design looks a bit funny so we might change it slightly.

The works we are doing is quite minimal. Basically kitchen cabinet, built-in wardrobe in the master bedroom, shower screen in the common toilet, bathtub in the master toilet and vanity counter in the master toilet. Yes, I know you all are thinking “bathtub?! can fit in BTO toilet meh??”. Well somehow our toilet has an elongated dimension which may fit a bathtub. I am small and short also anyway, so we don’t need a huge or spacious tub. And H is quite alright with it as long as I am happy hehe. BUT, when we collect the keys later on and see the actual size of the toilet/tub and if it turns out that we might not be able to fit the tub, I am still open to trashing that idea. (Mentally preparing myself so that I don’t have a meltdown when the actual disappointment comes) We are leaving the rest of the house untouched for now. Not even false ceiling or feature wall or TV console because we discovered that it’s not really necessary. Last time, false ceiling/cornice are used to hide ugly wires in old flats. Apparently nowadays BTO can conceal wires inside the wall/ceiling with cement. So actually false ceiling for BTO is just for design purpose and to make it look nice, especially if you decide to install cove lights. And it doesn’t come cheap at all, so we decided not to go with it. For a feature wall, though, I think one useful purpose of it is that you can mount your TV and hide the TV wires in the feature wall. H and me intend to buy a TV console instead of making a built-in one and we were initially ok with just putting the TV on that console instead of mounting it on the wall. But recently, we were discussing the possibility of having cats in the future and we may need to mount the TV after all, just in case the cat(s) might topple our TV or something. Even if the TV is heavy, some cats can be very strong lol. Our built-in wardrobe will be L-shaped because the space given is quite small, for someone who has a lot of clothes and shawls like me hehe.

All that for around $21K for now. There will definitely be adjustments, but hopefully we can keep it below $25K.

House Bites #3: ID Hunting

From the date of our flat selection in October 2016, HDB is supposed to call us to sign lease of agreement within 4 months, so by right it should be February. Somehow, they missed us out until we had to call and chase them multiple times after coming back from our honeymoon. So we finally went to sign the lease of agreement last April.

Our key collection is expected to be Q4 this year. But the flat looks almost ready, so during the signing of lease agreement, we tried to ask the officer to see if there is any chance that we could get the keys earlier. True enough, he said that HDB will ask to reapply our HLE around June-July. And usually from the time that happens, you can expect to collect your keys within 2-3 months. So the earliest we could collect our keys is probably around August-October. Apa lagi, kelam-kabut lah carik ID!

We just met up with 4 IDs within one week. So here’s a review of all the meetups. Continue reading “House Bites #3: ID Hunting”

House Bites #2: We don’t need much space to make babies eh?

I feel very very ‘terasa’ on the day that MP made that infamous remark. Because that was the day of our HDB appointment to book our flat! So yes, Jo Teo, we got our “space” and insyaAllah we can breed! Continue reading “House Bites #2: We don’t need much space to make babies eh?”