Wife’s Bites: 6 months!

Today officially marks 6 months of marriage, alhamdulillah! Tiny update: the cats have returned to their original owner 😦 They were with us for 6 weeks while their owner shift house. I was quite sad and heartbroken when they left. Never have I imagined to become so emotionally attached to cats! I have always loved cats, but I didn’t expect myself to have the emotional capacity to be extremely acquainted with them. The two boys have filled up our hearts so much, it felt like my life had actually had purpose with them around. No joke. Maybe this is how it feels like to have a child? When their owner came to our place last Sunday, I was initially emotionally okay. But after they left, H and I went out for a movie date. When we came back later that night, I couldn’t help but cry buckets like a baby! It was just super sad for me to come home to an empty house, with no cats greeting us and rubbing themselves against our legs, demanding attention. H was even prepared to make arrangements to adopt a new cat for us, but I was like woah chill dude, I am not that desperate to have a cat cos I have lived 26 years of my life without a cat so I definitely can live without one for now hahahaha.

Okay so how do we feel about our marriage after 6 months? Well I can go on and type out so many cheesy things we have gone through that makes me proud of us, but I shall not bore you with it cos most of them I have already mentioned in my previous posts. Basically, so far so good. At least to me, I feel like we have reached the stage where we need to constantly remind ourselves to not be complacent and put in more effort at being kind to each other and put in more effort in showing love hahahah. Other than that, well my mum has started to show her “tak-sabar-nak-cucu” anxiety by asking me to drink susu kurma and whatnots. Speaking of which, I can rant on and on about how ridiculous it is to expect a couple to conceive immediately after marriage, but that will be a topic for another day. It seems like we might only be getting our BTO keys in November or later haizz. Discussions on our house designs get heated pretty easily most of the time because like I mentioned before, H and I have very different tastes and ideas on our designs. Oh wellz. Also, discussions about our 10-year plan are intensifying. Everything is tentative, nothing concrete yet. Which can be very annoying and makes us anxious because there are just so many possibilities and things that can happen which we may never expect. Somehow we find that not many people plan as ahead as us. Or maybe they do, but they just refuse to share when we ask. Or maybe this is just a first-child thing. Β We have dreams and ambitions, some of them may look very far-fetched, and planning our future around the future of our family members is very important. Our parents are not getting any younger. We are foreseeing them to start developing certain illnesses or conditions (touch wood nothing happens), which may affect us in many ways. What if they have no choice but to stop working, what if they choose to have an early retirement, who will pay the younger siblings’ school fees, what if their mobility is reduced, what if we need to take care of them, what if their conditions affect our future kids, who will take care of our younger siblings, until when do I work full-time, how do we change career and at which stage etc.

Okay enough blabbering. Can’t wait to go out dating with H later tonight! For the past 6 weeks when the cats were at home, we have been putting away date nights. Because the later we reach home, the later the cats have their wet food dinner. So conversations have been like this, “Nanti lepas kerje nak watch movie?” “Nanti kucing lapar” “Okay nvm”

Wife’s Bites: Why We Moved Out

I thought I would write about one of the most common questions we got during raya this year. I moved out of my in-laws’ in May, specifically over the labour day long weekend, after 3 months of marriage. We got a rental flat under HDB’s PPHS scheme. Apparently, this move was quite shocking to most of our closed ones.

Well, I can imagine the kind of things they were thinking. What’s with the sudden decision? Why? Where? Did something happen? It’s so sudden, so something must have happened? For how long? Were they chased out? Are they running as far away from their family as possible? Continue reading “Wife’s Bites: Why We Moved Out”

House Bites #4: The Chosen One

H and I actually met up with 5 different IDs. I didn’t mention the 5th one in the last #HouseBites post, but we were not very impressed with him so whatever. We shortlisted 3 main IDs, which were MA Concept, Urban Design and Bestform. I was really leaning towards MA and Bestform. But we eventually decided on Urban Design mainly because they offered the lowest quotation. Adding on to the fact that they are reputable and have a Case Trust award thingy, we figured they are trustworthy.

Even though I didn’t have the best or most fantastic first impression of T, he’s actually not that bad afterall. H likes that T is not pushy at all, so we decided to sign when we looked at the quotation for the second time, after the first revision. On that same day, T asked us to select materials for the carpentry works (kitchen cabinet, built-in wardrobe and vanity counter in the master bedroom) for the first draft of the 3D drawing. This is meant to be a rough selection only, and not the actual material selection because 3D drawing will definitely need a few revisions. So far, it looks not bad. There were a few mistakes or details left out. We just made an appointment with T again to make some changes to our design.

Since our flat is from SBF exercise, we were given an open-concept kitchen with no partition wall cos we didn’t have a choice. So one of the things we decided to do was a kitchen counter top or bar top thingy to separate the kitchen from the living/dining room. After looking at the first 3D drawing, somehow the design looks a bit funny so we might change it slightly.

The works we are doing is quite minimal. Basically kitchen cabinet, built-in wardrobe in the master bedroom, shower screen in the common toilet, bathtub in the master toilet and vanity counter in the master toilet. Yes, I know you all are thinking “bathtub?! can fit in BTO toilet meh??”. Well somehow our toilet has an elongated dimension which may fit a bathtub. I am small and short also anyway, so we don’t need a huge or spacious tub. And H is quite alright with it as long as I am happy hehe. BUT, when we collect the keys later on and see the actual size of the toilet/tub and if it turns out that we might not be able to fit the tub, I am still open to trashing that idea. (Mentally preparing myself so that I don’t have a meltdown when the actual disappointment comes) We are leaving the rest of the house untouched for now. Not even false ceiling or feature wall or TV console because we discovered that it’s not really necessary. Last time, false ceiling/cornice are used to hide ugly wires in old flats. Apparently nowadays BTO can conceal wires inside the wall/ceiling with cement. So actually false ceiling for BTO is just for design purpose and to make it look nice, especially if you decide to install cove lights. And it doesn’t come cheap at all, so we decided not to go with it. For a feature wall, though, I think one useful purpose of it is that you can mount your TV and hide the TV wires in the feature wall. H and me intend to buy a TV console instead of making a built-in one and we were initially ok with just putting the TV on that console instead of mounting it on the wall. But recently, we were discussing the possibility of having cats in the future and we may need to mount the TV after all, just in case the cat(s) might topple our TV or something. Even if the TV is heavy, some cats can be very strong lol. Our built-in wardrobe will be L-shaped because the space given is quite small, for someone who has a lot of clothes and shawls like me hehe.

All that for around $21K for now. There will definitely be adjustments, but hopefully we can keep it below $25K.

Wife’s Bites: Grateful Parents ;)

Just after my last post, H came home last Friday night after meeting his bros and shared with me what they talked about over supper. They were catching up, and H was updating them about things that have been going on in our still relatively new married life. One of the latest updates is that we have chosen an ID and signed the contract! (More on that in a separate post) During the conversation, H’s friends commented on how we had our life “all figured out”.

I mentioned that H and I are one of the first among our friends to get married, get a house etc. But I was taken aback by that comment. No, we are definitely very far from having it “all figured out”. But thanks for saying that out loud. Because it made me realise how ungrateful I was. Amazing how right after I ranted out and complained about my life openly, Allah sends me a message in the form of someone else’s words, to remind me to just be more thankful.

Yes, it may be difficult, but this is His plan for us and His plans are the best. For goodness sake, some of our friends are still struggling to save money to get married and buy a house. Heck, some of my friends are still single and having a hard time looking for a partner and worry for a lonely future. We all have our own struggles and the grass will always look greener on the other side. But sometimes while we are too focused on the negative aspects of our lives, we don’t realise that there are other people who wish they could be in our shoes instead. That comment felt like a slap to my face, but I deserved it and I needed to hear it. Alhamdulillah.

Now back to the main purpose of this post. I am really excited that H and I just became instant parents….. to two very lovely cats!!! Hehehehe. Well, they are technically not our cats. H’s colleague asked for a favour to babysit his 2 cats for about a month or so, because he needs to shift house. H and I have never had any cats before, so we are totally inexperienced. But since we have been contemplating on having a cat for some time, we jumped at this opportunity for a “one month free trial” to experience how it’s like having cats before we decide to get our own cats for real in future! Last Sunday, the owner sent the two kitties to our place together with their basic necessities like food and litter. Alhamdulillah, I am really very happy and excited to be given this temporary amanah. They were born last October, so although they are quite adult-sized already, they are still considered kittens in age. They have been adapting really well. Too well actually. It’s amazes us how manja and attention-seeking they can be. And their playfulness is just mind-blowing. So much for thinking that cats sleep most of the time. They are so freaking active please. Kadang-kadang aku yang penat layan diorang. Initially we were also a little worried because we have never even had one cat, let alone taking care of two. But we realised it’s really great that the 2 cats have each other for company cos if not, they will be super lonely. The two cats are brothers, by the way. When we left for work on Monday morning and left them at home alone, I felt so sad for them and kept missing and thinking about them at work, wondering what they were doing at home. Today is the 6th day they have been with us, and my heart feels so full. I was telling H that having the 2 boys fills up a hole in my heart. Dah macam anak sendiri pulak eh. Hahaha. It’s been good so far. We just need to get used to the new routine of feeding them and keeping their area and litter box clean. But they have also been adapting so well that they are getting more and more daring with climbing and jumping all over the house and disturbing our chores. Thankfully, there are no major damages. Now that we have gotten to know them better, I think we might need to start to impose some sort of control on their behavior and maybe even set some boundaries for them around the house. We even bought for them a new litter box and scratch post. I think it’s very clear to them that H and I dote on them a lot, so I am a bit worried that they might get spoiled and take their freedom for granted.

Cat parents, any advice? πŸ™‚

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Wife’s Bites: The Thing About Being The First Child and The First Everything

It’s been a really pleasant 20+ days of ramadhan as husband and wife for the first time, alhamdulillah. Especially now that we are living on our own. Feels really good to be independent, and not rely on parents for food for buka and sahur every day, although it can get tiring because we have to really do everything on our own, including raya preparations. Continue reading “Wife’s Bites: The Thing About Being The First Child and The First Everything”