Family Research part 2

Something different happened to my menstrual cycle ever since I returned from my Bintan trip, in terms of the flow – how it starts and ends. I am not sure if it was because of the massage I did there, because the masseuse did massage my tummy area – I allowed her to. The cramps are still there, but slightly less intense. And then I remembered an acquaintance talking about sengkak some time back. Did the masseuse did a sengkak on me? I have no idea. Another weird thing that happened was that my face broke out quite badly in the middle of my menstrual cycle. Which was weird because I thought when estrogen peaks, our skin is supposed to be at its best stage. So was it some sort of hormonal imbalance?

Anyway, I was googling about sengkak and I really cannot find much info. The most common thing that came up was postnatal urut. But I’ve been hearing that some people do sengkak as a prenatal massage to help to return the womb to its original position so that it’s easier to conceive.

And speaking of conceiving, I also chanced upon a few posts about pantang larang or do’s and don’ts of a woman who is trying to conceive. Like you can only drink warm water and instead of cold drinks. You should eat heaty foods because the body needs to be warm. Cannot lift heavy weights. Cannot be too active/sporty/lasak. I don’t know man, some of these things don’t really make sense to me cos isn’t being active good for us because we are keeping fit? And isn’t it supposed to be easier for fitter and healthier people to conceive? Lifting weights is also keeping fit what.

That’s when I realised that not a lot of people write about tips and advice or pantang larang (with logical justifications) when trying to conceive other than to take supplements or folic acid (any brands to recommend?). My mum has already been nagging at me to eat dates and drink goat milk. Just looking for info for my future reference, in case I become ready to actively start our TTC journey full-steam (pun unintended). If you know of any useful sites or posts, please share in the comments k. 🙂

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A Talk on Marriage from a 21st Century Wife Perspective

Last Saturday I attended a talk on marriage by a popular young ustazah at Suntec. There were 2 special guests. Generally, the topic was about whether marriage is limiting or liberating for a woman to reach her fullest potential.

My best takeaways from this talk were from the Q&As. One of the things that impacted me was the advice given for couples whereby the wife earns more than the husband. One of the guest speaker said that it doesn’t really matter who earns more, because your success is also thanks to your spouse’s support. If the wife earns more, she wouldn’t be successful if her husband didn’t supported her by giving his approval and taking care of the kids/family/parents while she goes out to work. And vice versa. So it’s a two-way thing. No matter who earns more, the whole family benefits anyway. Credit should be given where due and there is no need for ego. But if a husband doesn’t provide nafkah because the wife earns more, then sorry but he’s a jerk.

I am probably a bit “terasa” by this topic because I have been told by a few people close to me to take it down a notch with my henna business. Continue reading “A Talk on Marriage from a 21st Century Wife Perspective”

Family Research

Although H and I are obviously taking our own sweet time to start a family, we have been low-key doing our own research to find out how life will be like when we have a kid. Every family and couple is different, but we have been trying to talk to as many people as possible, ask them as many questions as possible, stalk them on social media as much as possible etc just to find out how life has changed in terms of finance, husband-and-wife dynamics, living arrangements, childcare arrangements, when pregnancy/baby happens.  Just in case.

So far, it’s pretty scary.

One of the things we always talk about when discussing about the future is whether I am going to continue working, or quit my job and stay at home. Thankfully, H does not really expect me to be a housewife, but prefers me to have an ambition career-wise and to be able to work towards my goal. Continue reading “Family Research”

Surprise Birthday Trip!

I booked H’s surprise birthday trip since September and I’m so relieved everything went well. The surprise was a success! I have always loved planning big birthdays, and especially now that we dah halal and all, can do more halal things for birthdays right? *wink wink* Like going on holidays together. Continue reading “Surprise Birthday Trip!”

When in-laws come over unexpectedly

So yesterday, H had to pass something urgently to his dad. But instead of just a short meet up, my FIL ended up fetching H, me and my MIL from all our workplace, went for dinner and all 4 of us dropped by our place in Boon Lay for solat Maghrib and Isyak.

Obviously it was all impromptu, so I was panicking silently in my mind the whole time we were on the way to our place, while making faces at H to show my panic cos the house is not in its neatest and cleanest condition at that moment.

Sesungguhnya my MIL has high standards when it comes to cleanliness and keeping the house tidy. But my bags were all over the carpet. Ntuc plastic bags were not cleared away properly. The dining and coffee tables were cluttered with flyers and letters. And did I mention bags? Plastic bags, paper bags everywhere omg. When my MIL rushed for the toilet first thing when she entered, I terus zoom zoom zoom and went through all those clutter like lightning and shoved them into any hidden spots I can find, while she was still in the toilet.

To be honest, it was quite embarrassing but they were polite and didn’t say anything lol. H was initially more nonchalant than me, but after awhile, I spotted him cleaning up some mess when his parents were not looking. Lol tau takpe. Other than the random cluttered items all over the living room, I am so glad the sink was clear of dirty dishes. To be honest, even our bed is not always 100% made up most of the time, but thankfully, H decided to help make the bed and fold the blankets that morning. PHEW.

Sigh, it’s going to take me awhile to get over this trauma. But it’s our first experience, so let this be a strong lesson for us to always keep the house neat and tidy in case of random or sudden and unexpected visitors, no matter how busy or lazy we can be.