Ramadhan + Pregnancy

Hope everyone’s ramadhan and raya has been great. Time flies really fast this year. It’s already one week into syawal! I personally did not have a great ramadhan.

I was 17 weeks pregnant when ramadhan started and I was determined to puasa although my morning sickness is still on and off. My gynae also gave me the green light. One week into ramadhan and I already had to miss 3 days of puasa due to vomitting, which nullified my fast. The good news was, it got slightly better as my stomach got used to the hunger pangs. But I still felt dizzy and nauseous most of the time and even on days when I managed to puasa the whole day, I was struggling to focus at work and be productive with raya preps at home. At the same time, I was monitoring my weight because I haven’t been gaining weight at all since the very first time I weighed myself when I found out I was pregnant.

Early this month, I had my 20-week anomaly scan. To be honest, bf and I were very nervous. But alhamdulillah, it was a huge sigh of relief when the scan showed that everything is okay and the baby is growing well. Not that we are at risk of any complication, but we just don’t know how to handle it if Allah decides to test us with something, y’know?

Right after the scan, we met my gynae to go through the scan report. That was when she advised me to stop fasting because it turns out I have been losing weight. I also told her that I was still having morning sickness and puking about once a week. Although baby is healthy and growing well, it’s not a good sign for me. So before my weight loss starts to affect my baby, it’s better if I stop fasting.

I actually felt quite heartbroken. I thought I was strong enough. I thought if I could just quietly talk to my baby and convince him/her to puasa together, we can both get pahala and do ibadah together in this blessed month. And then the guilt also crept in. Just imagine, you have been fasting every ramadhan for your whole life except for days when you have your period. Even when you’re sick with fever, puasa goes on. So to have to skip fasting for the first time for reasons other than menses, it just felt so wrong and I felt so guilty. I had to bring my own lunch to work and eat secretly in the office even though none of my Muslim colleagues are around. It was just too paiseh.

Yes, I know pregnant and breast-feeding women are exempted from fasting if they don’t feel well and strong enough. But I have always felt unwell almost throughout my whole pregnancy so far anyway. So I knew it would be a quite a struggle. Pregnant or not, fasting is supposed to be a struggle of hunger. I knew I had to try really hard. But how was I supposed to know what was the limit and when to stop? Skipping puasa just felt like the easy way out. Like giving up too easily. I felt weak and like a failure. I was struggling to come to terms with it, but I had no choice.

Now that ramadhan is over, I told bf next time must plan strategically so that my future pregnancies will not coincide with ramadhan. HAHAHAH.

Advertisements

How we found out + Umrah trip

(I have been referring to my husband as H in this blog, but I have referring to him as bf in all my social media. So to avoid confusion for myself, I shall just consolidate it as bf. Ok bye.)

We were scheduled to depart for our umrah trip on the first day of CNY. A crucial part of the plan is to make sure that my period will not coincide with the trip at all. (I would take medication to delay my period if I have to, but it would be awesome if I didn’t have to.) For months, I monitored my period and everything was going really well. Until February came.

Bf and I shifted to our new BTO on 4 Feb, which was our wedding anniversary. I was spotting then (cos that’s how it always starts, not a sudden bloody waterfall). So I thought yay my period is coming and it will end right before our trip on the 16th, just nice! But…the very light flow suddenly just stopped. There was no bloody show, or nothing even as close to a heavy flow. Why is it taking forever to bleed properly? What if my period is late and comes during my umrah? What if I don’t get to do my umrah and wasted the trip for nothing?

For 1 and a half weeks leading to our flight, I was so worried like mad. The only possibility that I could think of was, what if I was pregnant? I also hesitated going to the clinic to get medication to delay my period because I kept thinking it should be coming soon. Luckily I didn’t go at all! Reluctantly, I took a pregnancy test 5 days before the departure and true enough, it was positive even though I took it at night instead of the morning pee! Bf was there with me in the toilet. Needless to say, it took us by surprise. But since it was still fresh and fragile, I was also worried that the pregnancy would affect my umrah, or worse, vice versa!

The next day, for some reason my right foot was in extreme pain and I was limping. So I took MC and got the doctor to confirm the pregnancy at the same time via a blood test. And it was a double confirm!

(I googled and later found out that the spotting/light bleeding I had was actually implantation bleeding, which is common.)

We told the pegawai umrah and she advised us to see a gynae asap before the trip. But we didn’t because by then it was already 4 days left to the trip and most clinics would close on CNY eve anyway. Alhamdulillah, I felt fine most of the time during our trip. The nausea only started towards the end and it was very mild and manageable. I ate a lot, but it was because we walked a lot.

Bf was being protective, especially in crowded places. If not for his help, we wouldn’t have been able to enter the Hijr Ismail twice. Raudhah was also very overwhelming, but alhamdulillah all is well. We even managed to climb up Jabal Nur to enter gua Hira together. It was tiring and very crowded, but luckily my nausea was under control. Overall, we were satisfied with the whole trip and we’ll be sure to tell our child stories of our Umrah journey while he/she’s still a tiny bloodclot in my womb.

Natural Birth Workshop

H and I just got back from a full day Natural Birth Workshop by Love At Birth today. Alhamdulillah it was sooooo insightful for a clueless couple like us. It was so packed with information, we felt quite overwhelmed but empowered. Even with my own apps and reading articles after articles, there were still a lot of new things I learned which I have never heard of before.

To be honest, we were both quite skeptical prior to the class because obviously there were no such thing as birth classes last time but we all were born and turned out just fine any way. But the workshop made us understand why natural birth is strongly advocated and how it’s beneficial for mothers and babies.

The workshop was conducted by Doulas Nur and Aza, who both have 4 kids each. They shared their birth stories for all 8 births in detail, which were all so diverse. The syllabus mainly covered ancient births, routine birth interventions in Singapore hospitals, managing contractions, excercises, nutrition, the stages of labour, writing birth plans, and knowing our rights as patients. There were also plenty of interactive activities like trying out yoga poses and excercises, getting the husband involved in managing the labour pains, giving birth to a pingpong ball from a balloon, using a long shawl (I forgot the proper name of that cloth) to do hip squeezes and support the bump at later stages of labour and we also got to do green juicing.

It helps that they also know the protocols and policies of certain doctors and hospitals too. So much so that H and I are actually considering to change our gynae and hospital right now. There was only one other couple who attended the class with us today, who is also taking the same gynae and hospital. Seems like they are also inclined to change their gynae even though they are already in their 3rd trimester!

We actually thought it was still early to attend this kind of workshop since we are only 16 weeks pregnant right now. I thought it might be better to only go for the class when we are closer to the EDD because we worried that we would forget all the information. But we are soooo grateful we went ahead with it today because at least now we still have time to make a decision. We also haven’t signed for any prenatal packages yet, so that’s another bonus.

Some of the things that made us reconsider our choices is that apparently PEH charges patients who have birth plans and has a standard policy to conduct episiotomy for first time mums (FTMs). We also heard some negative reviews about our current gynae. Although we should probably investigate further to verify these information, there are too many good reviews about NUH that make us want to strongly consider it as our alternative choice of hospital for now. Luckily, our next appointment is about 3 weeks from now. So we have some time to do more research and decide if we really want to go ahead with the change. Overall, we are really satisfied with the workshop and I’m so glad to be able attend it with H. 🙂

Be Careful What You Wish For

Bismillah.

On 29 January, I tweeted how my ig timeline is like 99% about babies (k exaggeration). People with kids keep posting pics of their kids. But people without kids are also posting pics of their nieces/nephews. And I tweeted that I wish I also had a niece/nephew to play with, since at this age, most of my friends are already starting to have nieces and nephews. But bf and I are the first child so there’s no chance of that happening any time soon.

2 weeks later, we discovered that I’m pregnant. Hah. Continue reading “Be Careful What You Wish For”

House Bites: First Anniversary and First Thoughts on the First Day

Alhamdulillah we have moved in yesterday on our anniversary! Both our families were involved with the move including a few of H’s cousins. One of his aunt who stays nearby came over too. My parents-in-law ordered nasi bungkus, my parents bought drinks and mum made us pulut kuning and ordered a Polar cake with our photo on it to celebrate our anniversary! H also got my sisters-in-law to buy some helium balloons lol.

It was quite a hectic day because there were also many deliveries. Fridge, washing machine, TV console, coffee table, wall mounting for the TV and installation of bed frame. Since FIL is the more tech savvy guy around, we got his help and advice with setting up the WiFi and TV+soundbar too. Managed to put the router on the TV console but my wifi connection from the master bedroom is almost non-existent, so we need to blast it further somehow. By yesterday evening before bedtime, we managed to unpack like 20% of our stuff. Not bad lah hor, considering we are both working today lolz.

My first thoughts? Wow rumah besar nak kemas leceh ni. Suddenly got so many windows to open/close, Continue reading “House Bites: First Anniversary and First Thoughts on the First Day”